Mindfulness

July 26, 2019

Developing a mindfulness practice is a crucial element in becoming self-aware. Mindfulness is the conscious awareness of what is going on inside our minds, our bodies, and our world, and an awareness of the relationships between those things. Most people think of mindfulness in terms of mindfulness meditation, and certainly, that practice forms the foundation of general mindful awareness. Mindfulness, however, is not just a meditation practice. Mindfulness is a way of life.

Real mindfulness enables us to have a better sense of who we really are. Real mindfulness involves having a sense of awareness that is carefully tuned to our reality in the moment: what thoughts we are having, what sensations we are experiencing, what mood we are in, and what is happening around us. In a mindful state, we are aware of our emotional state. We are aware of what is happening around us.

Consider, for example, mindful relating.  In a conversation, we listen carefully to the other person’s words. We listen to the tone of their voice and pay attention to their body language and facial expressiveness. We note our experience of their emotional state. We listen carefully to their words and avoid immediately trying to understand. Careful listening requires us to hear the other person’s entire expressed thought. Perhaps most importantly, we need to let go of preparing our response before the other person has even finished!

Inside ourselves, even while we are listening, we maintain some awareness of our current emotional and feeling state. We notice how their message affects our emotions. We note what sensations we are experiencing. Rather than suppress or deny our reactive feelings, we experience them. When we respond mindfully, we reflect their emotions and let them know we heard their message. If we need to gather our own thoughts, we share our current emotion and indicate we need that moment. “I can tell you are upset. And what you say makes me really angry, and I need a second to think about it” is the type of comment you might make as you think through a response. Rarely will your response make much sense if you didn’t even hear what the other person was saying.

Developing and growing a truly mindful state is a lifelong endeavor. One method, already mentioned, for building mindful awareness is following a mindful meditation practice. Hundreds of books and articles on the topic exist. Apps also exist for smartphones. Some of the best-known include Calm, Headspace, and Buddhify. These apps help focus and quiet the mind. Mindfulness meditation practice Learning to reduce what already occupies the mind makes room for noticing new things. However, mindfulness meditation alone won’t necessarily build mindful awareness in our ongoing world. Building that requires first and foremost our intention to do so, and the willingness to make that investment.